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“Don’t worry, it will get easier” and other asinine comments

13 December 2011

Don’t worry, it will get easier.

I think the next person who says that to me will get a damn good kicking.

What you meant to say is “Don’t worry, you will find ways to cope with all the crap you’re going through but the loss you feel will never truly go away”.

I’m lucky in that our friends are like us – none of them has come out with any stupid comments but those who I’ll refer to as ‘acquaintances’ tend to speak before thinking. I was so close to Cat, to the point of finishing each others’ sentences and joking about a shared brain – my real soul-mate – that I’m not sure the feeling of loss will ever truly go. I still reach for her hand when walking along the street and have on occasion asked her a question when shopping.

So if you don’t mind, your condolences are most welcome however asinine comments are not. I have no problem in telling you that fact to your face. If my words offend you then think about what you said to me first.

Rant over.


2 Comments leave one →
  1. 13 December 2011 10:43 pm

    Rant on. I am SO sorry for your loss. I am so sorry Nathaniel will not get to feel his mom’s embrace. Cat is a beautiful girl with a smile that would light up a room. I love the picture. I love that you are going to share your experiences through blogging although I hate it more that you have “experiences” to share.

    Again, I am so sorry. When one of us is taken by the disease, we are all saddened.

    Your words are powerful. I support you. Your situation scares people. Cat’s cancer scared people. And even the most well intentioned can say the most asinine stuff. I just want to say, I Am Sorry.


  2. 14 December 2011 6:51 am

    Your very brave James and I am sure this process will be good for you. Talking to ‘no-one’ is sometimes so valuable, I talk to my cat all the time. The comments from others are hard to deal with & sometimes so frustrating, I remember. The one thing I learnt from loosing daddy was never to ignore a loss, I always say how sorry I am to those who loose someone.
    Thank-you for allowing us to share your story mate.

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