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I’ve recently lost my wife. It’s very careless of me. She’s probably dropped down the back of the sofa…

20 December 2011

Some people have no sense of humour. Actually that’s not true. People just don’t know how to act or what to say when they’re around you. Are they supposed or allowed to find things funny or must they keep a gloomy expression on their faces while they talk to you?

I went to see another friend yesterday and she introduced me to some of her friends. She added, “James lost his wife earlier this year” to which I added “Very careless of me. She’s probably dropped down the back of the sofa”. The look on their faces was priceless.

Maybe I’m slightly unhinged but it was highly amusing. As I said to them, I will make jokes about the whole thing. It doesn’t mean I don’t love Cat and don’t miss her terribly. It’s a coping mechanism and anyone who knew Cat and I as a couple would have experienced ‘The Cat and James Show’ first-hand so should be well prepared!

I’m not going to apologise to anyone. I am not going to walk around looking suicidal, gloomy or morose. I refuse to conform to other people’s expectations of a widow – If I wear black it’ll have a Metallica, Iron Maiden or Megadeath cover on it. I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. My life is my own.

In other words I will not be a prisoner to this.


One Comment leave one →
  1. 20 December 2011 4:36 pm

    I hesitated to leave a comment because I **did** laugh at your wise crack and didn’t quite know how to respond. But, then I realized if I didn’t say anything, I would be pidgeon-holed into “those people” you beautifully describe in the first paragraph.

    I’m with you on the conforming thing. I still hate that this happened and each time I visit your blog, I look at the beautiful photo and the million dollar smile and it pisses me off. Not the photo, I mean…. the fact that your wife is lost.

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